**Repost from FB on 12/24/2018**
I'm on call for work. I got called in last night, and there is potential I could get called in again today. The weather calls for snow. It's Christmas Eve. It's looks fairly chilly outside. I have cookies that need baked and a dessert to assemble. My house needs cleaned per usual. But when I step outside to go break waters, the sun comes out and it really isn't that cold.
I look up and as often happens here in Ferdinand, there is blue sky. But only here. The 360° view has dark clouds, fog, and snow showers in every direction. I decide I better saddle up and ride. After all, it'd be a shame to waste this moment on cleaning, knowing full well the moment will most certainly be brief.
When I ride, I mostly prefer to ride by myself, I've always been that way. It's my time to think and appreciate the things I take for granted. Riding horses is my church, it's my connection to God, and it's my absolute favorite place to be.
As I rode today, I got a bit tearful over memory that I was given to reflect on (that happens when something touches my soul). I thought back to mid-August, and the 2nd time I rode Laynee. At that point she had maybe 10 rides on her and did not ride how I thought she should be riding for being a full year from her first ride. I'd probably had a really rough week with work too. I was so angry. My mom had to listen to me complain and be super negative. How am I going to catch up? This will take me forever! I might as well sell her, I haven't had the time so far, why would I the time now??
I wanted to blame Gabe for not making more time and not putting my horse first. I wanted to blame work, I could have had so much more done with her if I didn't have to work so much. It was a meltdown of memorable proportions. Maybe that's why I got to revisit it today.
I'm riding my mare down the road and realize she has been by far one of the easiest horses I've trained. Now, I've had some easy ones that have come along quickly. But the difference with her is, I started from a point where she had had far less done with her than the others. She's very smart, picks things up very quickly, retains them, and has a pile of natural physical ability.
It's been 4 months from that day I had a complete come apart. And while I've noticed how quickly she's progressed and been surprised and thrilled with her, it hit me today exactly how and why it's all come together this way. How that fit I threw, was so ridiculous! If I would have only known how well she would be doing 4 months from then, would I have been so mad?
I don't know how fast Laynee will come along. She might be running by next month or maybe it'll be May or maybe even later. But what I do know is I don't have the answer, even guessing won't help, neither will throwing a tantrum about what I think may or may not happen. What will help, is keeping my perspective right and focusing on the work and lessons learned, rather than the outcome. Because it will turn out exactly how it's supposed to. It might be just how I envisioned it, or the complete opposite or like nothing I could have even imagined.
Either way, all will lead me to the reason for it. And that reason, is the reason for this season. Merry Christmas!
UPDATE:(How things started to how they are going) Laynee ran in her first race on 1/19/19.( 1st video below) She won money in the 4D. At that time she had only been on the pattern inconsistently since October and I took over riding her in August. She has since become my go-to horse for barrels, poles and breakaway. The second video is of her last run in 2021, placing in the 1D
