The String That Binds Us

 

Council High School Rodeo 2001

This old goat tying string is, well, old...

My mom always tried to get me help with my goat tying when I was young since it was my worst and least liked event. I took lessons from several different people. One, when I was about 11, was a college student named Amy Hanley. After tying with her, she gifted me one of her old goat strings. And that's where it all began.

I carried that string with me for years, probably using it now and again for practice and a few rodeo runs. It was always in my goat string bag along with the many other strings from Willard Ropes. But it wasn't a Willard string, in fact, I never really knew what kind it was. It did, however, have a distinctive rubber cuff on the tail, but that was it.

I got really into goat tying between my freshman and sophomore year of high school. I worked really hard on my own to figure out how to be fast. I started tying in a very particular way that was specific to me. It was at this time that I circled back through my goat strings and connected with the old hand-me-down that I'd packed around for years. It just fit how I tied. It was a 3 ply, fuzzy, slightly stiffer, coiling on its own, old string that just worked.

It lived, coiled up, on my truck's rearview mirror when we rodeoed. I used bees wax to keep it sticky, letting it get warm on the dash of the truck, or under my butt when I was in the saddle. Once a year I'd submerge it in hot water and take a wire brush to it to remove all the old beeswax, to start fresh in the spring. I'd then coil it back up and let it dry.

I used that string for every practice and competition run from my sophomore year in high school until I graduated college. It won three District 3 High School Rodeo buckles, one Idaho State High School Rodeo championship saddle, a round win at the National High School Rodeo finals, 3 Northwest Region College Rodeo Saddles, qualified all 4 years to the College National Finals Rodeo, picking up a short round win there one year and tying in a couple 6 second runs. I even used it for a few post college runs too. It lived, for many years, displayed in a shadow box with a picture of me using it at the College National Finals Rodeo. That was, until..... until it got the call again.

Laramie has been tying goats since before she was born. I was pregnant with her in the spring of my senior year of college. We won the Northwest Region in both the goat tying and the breakaway roping. That year, I went into the CNFR as the #1 Goat Tyer in the nation. I competed at the finals, 5 months pregnant. While it didn't go how I'd have liked it to, I still made some good runs, despite having a passenger on board.

Flash forward to Laramie's freshman year of high school. She's starting to get a little more serious about her goat tying. I dig out my old string so that I can tie with her. Since she was taught by me, she ties like me. It's a very specific style of tying, but she doesn't know any different. After watching her struggle a bit with her string, I handed her mine. And that's where it's next chapter began.

It is now the string Laramie uses, for all her practice and competition runs. It still lives its life coiled up when its not in use which, I'm sure, has many diehard goat tyers out there, cringing. If you ask my husband, you'll hear that it's because I'm a freak, that I can use the same goat string (and breakaway ropes for that matter), for years and not need or want a new one. I say, I don't know anything about that. All I know is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Sometimes the old stuff is just better than anything new that they make today. Sometimes it's not the equipment that needs replaced, it's your mindset.  Sometimes something just works and that's all that matters.

I can tell you that I'm fairly certain that that old string is likely from King Ropes. On our way to the CNFR my senior year, we stopped in Sheridan, Wyoming. Looking at their goat strings, I noticed they sported a little rubber cuff just like my old twine. I purchased one but honestly, it never quite measured up to my old one. Maybe it needs more ties and years before it can even be considered "good". Or maybe it just is what it is.

This old goat tying string is, well, old. I'd estimate it being somewhere in the neighborhood of 28-30 years old. But it is still good. It still has lots of life and fast ties left in it. I love getting to watch my old string and my tying style go on through Laramie. I'm excited to follow her on her journey and get to see where and how far that old string will take her. To be continued...

Laramie at the Lewiston HS Rodeo 2022

Me 5 months Pregnant with Laramie at 2006 CNFR

The One Who Stole Your Girl

 He was tall, dark and handsome.The kind that catches your eye.

I knew the moment I saw him, he was my guy.

Those shoulders! That butt! It took all I had...

Not to jump on him right there, I knew this was bad.

I approached him slowly, my heart in a flutter.

I couldn't form words,  all I could do was stutter.

I had waited so long to find, "The One".

And at that moment, I knew my search was done.

He was going to take me places, places I'd never been.

I already felt a bond with him, my new best friend!

The places we'd go, the things we'd see.

The fun we'd have, the people we'd meet.

I was lost in my future, when I snapped back to Now.

There was one little problem, not so much what, but how.

How would I tell my husband? What was I to do?

Come clean about everything and just tell him the truth?

How I'd been perusing those websites, for months on end.

Making quiet phone calls, many texts did I send!

Asking for pictures, videos, and all kinds of details.

Oh Dear God! And then there's the emails!

I think I'll just tell him, that I've found someone new.

And hope he understands just what I've been through.

It isn't easy to tell your spouse this, of course.

That I've finally found the perfect prospect, barrel horse.

He gives me a shrug, and says, "Honey, I knew.

You think I don't know you? Oh Darlin', I do.

You've been sneaking around, trying not to get caught. 

You think that you're stealthy, but Sweetheart, you're not!"

Well, that went better than I could have guessed!

Now, let's get the horse and forget the rest!

I put my arms around his neck and take a deep breath.

Oh my gosh, I already love him to death.

I kiss his face and look into his eyes.

I see my future, the limit's the sky!

My husband stands by, knowing there's not much he can do.

But He is just  thankful my new love has four legs and not two.

                                                                  Justifire,  aka: Justin 

The Reason

**Repost from FB on 12/24/2018**

I'm on call for work. I got called in last night, and there is potential I could get called in again today. The weather calls for snow. It's Christmas Eve. It's looks fairly chilly outside. I have cookies that need baked and a dessert to assemble. My house needs cleaned per usual. But when I step outside to go break waters, the sun comes out and it really isn't that cold.

 I look up and as often happens here in Ferdinand,  there is blue sky. But only here. The 360° view has dark clouds, fog, and snow showers in every direction. I decide I better saddle up and ride. After all, it'd be a shame to waste this moment on cleaning, knowing full well the moment will most certainly be brief. 

When I ride, I mostly prefer to ride by myself, I've always been that way. It's my time to think and appreciate the things I take for granted. Riding horses is my church, it's my connection to God, and it's my absolute favorite place to be.  

As I rode today, I got a bit tearful over memory that I was given to reflect on (that happens when something touches my soul).  I thought back to mid-August, and the 2nd time I rode Laynee. At that point she had maybe 10 rides on her and did not ride how I thought she should be riding for being a full year from her first ride. I'd probably had a really rough week with work too. I was so angry. My mom had to listen to me complain and be super negative. How am I going to catch up? This will take me forever! I might as well sell her, I haven't had the time so far, why would I the time now?? 

I wanted to blame Gabe for not making more time and not putting my horse first. I wanted to blame work,  I could have had so much more done with her if I didn't have to work so much. It was a meltdown of memorable proportions. Maybe that's why I got to revisit it today. 

I'm riding my mare down the road and realize she has been by far one of the easiest horses I've trained. Now, I've had some easy ones that have come along quickly. But the difference with her is, I started from a point where she had had far less done with her than the others.  She's very smart, picks things up very quickly, retains them, and has a pile of natural physical ability.  

It's been 4 months from that day I had a complete come apart. And while I've noticed how quickly she's progressed and been surprised and thrilled with her, it hit me today exactly how and why it's all come together this way. How that fit I threw, was so ridiculous! If I would have only known how well she would be doing 4 months from then, would I have been so mad?  

I don't know how fast Laynee will come along. She might be running by next month or maybe it'll be May or maybe even later. But what I do know is I don't have the answer, even guessing won't help, neither will throwing a tantrum about what I think may or may not happen. What will help, is keeping my perspective right and focusing on the work and lessons learned, rather than the outcome. Because it will turn out exactly how it's supposed to. It might be just how I envisioned it, or the complete opposite or like nothing I could have even imagined.

 Either way, all will lead me to the reason for it. And that reason, is the reason for this season. Merry Christmas!

UPDATE:(How things started to how they are going) Laynee ran in her first race on 1/19/19.( 1st video below) She won money in the 4D. At that time she had only been on the pattern inconsistently since October and I took over riding her in August. She has since become my go-to horse for barrels, poles and breakaway. The second video is of her last run in 2021, placing in the 1D

Embarrassment Is The Cost Of Entry

 Embarrassment. If you are afraid of it, you might want to get out of horses right now!

Horses will embarrass you. And their timing for doing so, is impeccable.  It's usually in front of a large crowd,  that person you bragged to about how well your horse was doing, when there's a big payout on the line, in front of a notable trainer... you name an important time and they will pull out something they've never done before. It's embarassing!🤦‍♀️

But I'm going to let you in on a secret. Put on your muck boots, this is about to get deep! You cannot, I repeat, cannot, be embarrassed if you don't want to be. The power of being embarrassed lies within you. Deep, right??  And I'm going to let you in on another secret. Nobody cares! I'm serious, they really don't! I'd say 90% of the time, we create thoughts for other people in our own heads. What must they think??? Oh my gosh, they probably think.....blah blah blah.  When you really get into the psychology of it, how important do we really think we are? So important that we believe people we barely know, if we know at all, have an opinion about us, our horses, or our run? Kind of arrogant, don't you think? If this is you, refer back up to the first paragraph to see how that one turns out.

Here's the thing. You may have heard it said, "Opinions are like buttholes, everyone's got one" and that is 100% true. It is human nature to have an opinion. Whether you are doing things right, wrong, winning or losing, everyone is going to have an opinion about it. And depending on how much they like you, these judgements will vary wildly. So what can you do?? The answer is this.... nothing. You do you. You keep trying to be better than you were yesterday... for you!

And let's address those people who aren't friends or maybe were friends but aren't anymore. The one's who loooove to see you deal with misfortunes, who enjoy it way too much when your horse does something cringeworthy, the people who can't wait to tell everyone else and make fun of you. That really says more about who they are than who you are. The less reaction you have, the less power they have over you. This is really the hardest part to mentally overcome. But I promise, if you stay so focused on you, you can't be affected. And that makes the toughest competitors.  You just might one day thank those bitches for forcing you to become better than them! "Hey, Thanks Bitches! Bye, now!"🙋🏼‍♀️

A few thoughts to leave with you to ruminate on...
1. What other people think of you is none of you business. - It truly isn't.  Not much you can do about it other than be you and they will like you or they won't. It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you aren't.

2. Your opinion of yourself is the key to happiness. -Give it to someone else and misery will follow you everywhere.

3. You would worry less about what other people think of you, if you realized how seldom they do.- Most people are so wrapped up in what they look like, what their horses are doing, what other people think of them, that they don't even notice what's going on with you.

4. If you own horses, you better practice humility and get comfortable with it.- It's a place you will be sent often especially if you start forgetting the horse makes the rider, not the other way around.

5. Know that you aren't special, everyone has something embarrassing happen to them courtesy of their equine partner. -Laugh a little but not too much, it might be you next! Be empathetic to those it happens to because if you haven't been there, you will be at some point.

6. If you aren't ready to be talked about, good or bad, you aren't ready for success. - They are going to talk no matter what you do. Pick a handful of people who's opinions truly matter to you. Ones who are there to help you grow and improve. Ask for their thoughts but don't be afraid to disagree with them either. At the end of the day, you know what's right for you and your horse.

And last but not least..
7. Be selfish. Be so focused on you and your horses you can't hear the unwanted opinions of people who don't matter to you. You don't have to be rude, though many will perceive it that way, but you do need to have very tight, strong boundaries. If people find that rude, well then, maybe they should not have said anything in the first place. That's on them.

Moral of the story: Embarrassment is inevitable.  Everyone will have an opinion. It's up to you how you react, how quick you let it go, and how fast you move on and recover. Stay focused on you, be happy with your accomplishments big and small and you will win everytime! 

And remember: Embarrassment is the cost of entry,  if you aren't willing to look like a foolish beginner, you'll never become a graceful master.✌

Trying to get Swiggy stopped after he ducked in front of the second barrel and ran off in Pendleton.

Mazie doing a little buck leaving the 3rd barrel, putting several inches of air under my butt.

This Is A Test...

 This is a test. This is only a test..... to evaulate how much effort you are willing put out to do what you claim you love to do. 

My morning started off really well. I slept well, didn't have to get up very early, started my day with a good breakfast. It was looking promising. I got myself ready for the race, put dinner in the crockpot, did a load of laundry and dishes, and put together all my horse's evening grain for quick and easy distribution. I knew today was going to be long so I was setting myself for success, go me!  I feel so on top on things, let's go barrel racing!

I walk out the door and that's when things start going downhill. First, I hear cows mooing. That's not really a big deal. Except that I cannot see them. They have once again, crashed a panel and gotten themselves locked in the old barn. There is no food in there, no grain, no treats and it leaks like a sieve, so it's not a dry place to hang out. Damn cows! I make a mental note to get them out before I leave. I catch all of my 5 year olds with no problems.  But Laynee decides, Not Today Satan! Running, kicking, not gonna be caught! I abandon trying to catch her pretty quickly. I've got other matters to tend to.

I get all the 5 year olds blanketed and ready to load. I decide to release dumb and dumber from the barn and jury rig the panel as a quick solution to the immediate problem. I put some treats in my pocket and Laynee is caught with no issue. OK, back on track.

I load all 4 horses, call for Lucy (the stow away cat), because I saw her milling around my trailer. She comes out of the barn. Crap! Now she's headed for my truck. A quick trip into the house to get some cat food, and back out to the barn. Perfect, cat's accounted for. Into the truck I hop. Just at the precise time I'd planned to leave. Turn the key.... click, click, nothing. Mother Father!!!!

Last month this same thing happened. Yesterday, I decided to fire it up and make sure we were good to go for today. Started right up, no problem. I should also mention, all my help is out of town for the weekend, so I'm on my own. I call Gabe who talks me through properly jumping my truck. Call me spoiled, call me lucky... whatever, I've just never had to do it alone. I closely follow instructions and it works! TaDa! Now I'm good!

I get my phone plugged in, music set up, drinks secure. Look down to see my truck saying, "6 miles to E". Are. You. Kidding. Me??? I call Gabe. I think more for someone to hear my exasperation,  because he can literally do nothing but say, "that sucks, sorry." And he is not wrong. It does suck.

After sitting for a few minutes, both my truck and myself thinking about it, my truck decides,  you know what? I think I can make it 55miles to E. 😁 Great! That's good enough for me! As I leave the driveway, actually, it can make it 106miles to E. Even better white truck but I only need about 20.  Let's go!

I arrive to the round up grounds and it is raining. A miserable drizzle. I pay my fees and really start regretting bringing so many horses. And to think, I almost brought 2 more. Man, I'm clearly a bit of an optimist! I'm glad I didn't.

I clean off my mud encrusted caballos, which is super fun when you are soaking wet. All the hair and dirt transfers from the horses to my coat and face. I bet that's cute! Thank God I'm already married 🤣 I'd never find a husband looking like horsey hobo.

The weather turns off and the sun kind of comes out. This day doesn't suck after all.  My mare, Laynee, made nice runs in both the barrels and poles, placing in the 1D in both. I only rode Justin and Prim and entered them in the futurity time onlys which I was thankful for friends videoing and holding my other horse. Both horses made good runs and progress was made! Wahoo! As for Mazie, I didn't even try to ride her. Just a trip to town to stand and be tied but that's still important in and of itself. Maybe next time for her.

Overall, it ended up being a fine ass day! Moral of the story is, sometimes you are tested to see how serious you are about something. I'd be lying if I didnt say when my truck didn't start, that I didn't think about staying home. When it said it was out of diesel, to unload and put them away. When it was raining, to only ride my open horse and forget about my colts.  It's not easy but nothing that is worth it, ever is. Keep on keeping on.  The only way forward is through!

They Are Only Babies

My husband is always telling me... "If you're going to be in the horse business...."  To which I always reply, "I'm not in the horse business, I'm in the horse hobby." It has never been my aspiration to make a living off my horses. Do I wish they would contribute a little more than they do? Of course! No one has volunteered yet so I'll keep waiting. Maybe one day...🤞

I like to raise my own. Mostly because it allows me to know them and them to know me. I can give you details about every horse on this place, along with histories of their mothers and siblings. I learn all of their quirks and how to approach each one in a way they understand. It takes time and a genuine interest. Horses know what you know and they know what you don't know and they can and will use it against you. So you better spend the time to learn exactly what you're dealing with.

This year, my 1st group of babies are 5. I didn't get to haul or pattern them nearly as much as I would have liked.  At present, they still hollar to each other when one rides away from the trailer.  They paw in or at the trailer with a lack of patience or attention. They spook at sights and sounds they only get to see in town. All of which are amplified with being fresh and full of grain and silliness. And this is annoying. Very annoying. But you know what? They are just babies.

Thankfully, they have improved even with the limited hauling they've gotten. They all load and unload with ease. Which, is not how we started out. I actually dreaded taking them places because of the loading and unloading issues I might have or the fits thrown at or in the trailer while I wasn't present.  But I made myself do it. I forced myself to take them along as frustrated and anxious as it made me. Thankfully, nobody died and they all eventually worked through it, finding I always tried to make their experience consistent, predictable, and enjoyable.

My husband says I spoil them because I always have hay for them, in the trailer or at the trailer. He thinks that what I do doesn't make them learn to load or stand tied without a hay bag in front of them. But I disagree.  They are just babies.  They are learning. They are flight animals, herd animals, and everything we ask them to do is completely unnatural to them. I try to give them comfort in a way they understand to show them that what I'm asking them to do will not hurt them.  Horses thrive on routine, repetition, and consistency.  It's the best way I've found to communicate with them and teach them to trust that I won't put them in a dangerous situation. You have to be the boss but you don't have to be a dictator. You want respect, but you must earn it, not demand it.

Just think of a time you were scared. You had to do something alone, or with people you didn't know. You didn't know what to expect or what would be expected of you and how nervous it made you. Now, imagine the person in charge is yelling at you in a language you don't speak, being physically rough with you, and taking you to places you are unfamiliar with. You don't know how long you'll be there, or when you will eat or drink next.  Personally, that thought gives me serious anxiety and I'm the one with the big, rational brain.

They need to learn to travel alone as well as, together with their buddies. They need to learn that while we ride away and leave the others, we will return. Same for the ones at the trailer. It's a process. It's by no means easy, but it is necessary and takes a lot of time and repetition. And yes, it's very annoying and stressful.

But, I will continue going to town with my young ones. Hollaring, pawing, spooking.... because how else will they learn? It takes a lot of patience, of which is something I'm still personally working on, a deaf ear, and some motivation to do things that drive you nuts because it's all part of the process. After all, they are only babies.

You Aren't Getting Out Alive!

 I haven't really written much this past year. I haven't really felt inspired to. Nothing has really touch my soul enough to express it into words. With all that's going on, the only words that do come to my mind are ones I actually wrote 5 years ago. They are still as relevant now as they were then. 

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Soapbox rant ahead! Life is a risk, nobody is getting out alive! You can't live your life around the 'what-if's' or the freak accidents. They are going to happen whether you try to avoid them or not. If it isn't one you planned for, it will be another you never saw coming.  

We now live in a society that fears death greatly.  So much so, that people live their whole lives trying to avoid it in every single way possible ( honestly believing they can).  Instead of enjoying all life has to offer, they stay within the boundries of safety defined by all those who died before them and those taking measures to never let it happen again. 

I am by no means against safety or trying to not to die. I'm simply saying to enjoy life to it's fullest, there is some risk involved. Some people drive fast,  some people skydive, some people ride horses. You choose the risks your are comfortable or maybe a little uncomfortable taking, to enjoy your time on Earth.

Everybody wants to sit back judge the risks you take in your life to, not only justify that their safe lives are worth living, but that they are somehow better than yours because of it.

 I'm a believer in, when it is your time, it's your time and there's no stopping it. I am going to continue loving and taking care my family, friends, and horses, and enjoy every minute we have together. I will not dwell on all the things that could happen, they are out of my control anyways. I'll do what I feel is right for me and suggest you do the same. Let's leave the judging to Jesus and continue being friends despite the differences in our risk taking.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the cartoon movie, The Croods, "That's not living, it's just, not dying." Be sure you are really living and not just, not dying! 😁